Calm the F*ck Down

We all have two parts to our brain: the primitive part and the rational part. The primitive brain is like an overactive watchdog, always on alert, barking at shadows, and ready to jump in and ‘save’ us—whether we need saving or not. It's quick and reactive, and when it’s in control, you might find yourself asking, ‘Do I really want to feel or think like this?’ If the answer is ‘no,’ that watchdog is running the show.

Research suggests we spend up to 95% of our day wishing we were thinking or feeling something else. That's because our primitive brain is in charge more often than we realize. It's hardwired to pick up on threats—even if they aren’t real—and it's five times faster than our rational brain.

Now, the rational brain? It's the cool-headed one. It knows when you're overreacting, but the problem is it doesn’t get the first crack at incoming info. Everything goes to that watchdog brain first, which is why we can feel jumpy or anxious without really knowing why.

So what’s the key to handling all this? First, understand that you can’t control the primitive brain with brute force. Nope. Never. It’s faster and stronger than you are, so trying to out-muscle it will only wear you out. Instead, understand it. Make sure your fundamental needs are being met—like feeling recognized or accepted. Because that's often why that brain starts acting up in the first place.

And here's the good news: the primitive brain doesn’t get the final say. It suggests a plan, but you always still have a choice.

Learn to calm the f*ck down and wrangle in your brain so you can get the right part in charge.